11.21.2008

Karolina Kurkova - Umbilicus Minimus

1. How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.
2. Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies.
3. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins.

The Song of Solomon. (It's in the bible)
Too bad for Karolina Kurkova...her navel most definitely wanteth of liquor. Still, her two breasts are indeed like two young roes...I guess.

Kurkova, like Adam and Eve, doesn't really have a belly button. Rather, she has the barest indentations suggesting where the navel should have been. The obvious benefit is she has no need to worry about belly button lint. However, there's a certain sexual appeal to a belly button, the consequences of which she'll never experience. Think of all the men who don't come calling, turned away by her freakish body. She could be a Ginger, but she'll never be a Mary Ann.

Oh, and don't be fooled by some of those magazine spreads showing her with a normal belly button. It's been airbrushed in. Take a gander at the following, and see if you can spot the freak of nature...Umbilicus Minimus.




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