Gammy's In A Bottle

Mom (hiding something behind her back): "Children, remember when I told you Gammy had to go away for a long long time and that we may never see her again?"
Kids (sobbing): "Uh huh."
Mom: "And I said that she was going to a very special place where she would be safe and loved by everyone?"
Kids (sniffling): "Uh huh."
Mom: "You still miss Gammy, don't you?"
Kids (lamenting): "Uh huh."
Mom: "I know you miss Gammy very much and I can't bear to see your sad eyes. So, guess what?"
Kids (curious): "What?"
Mom (revealing what she has in hiding): "I brought Gammy back home with me and she's in..."
Kids: "GAMMY'S IN A BOTTLE!"

That's right! For only $20, you too can have a ghost in a bottle. That ghost might be your very own Gammy that you can keep by your bedside.

Ghost In A Bottle? Man Claims To Sell Them
ST. JOHNS COUNTY, Fla. -- A Florida man is in the business of selling bottled spirits; but you may not want to drink what he claims is inside the containers.

In rural St. Johns County, there's a little shed that's considered haunted because inside, Jon Deese said he's storing ghosts, Jacksonville television station WJXT reported.

Deese said he has ghosts trapped in bottles, and they're for sale.

Ahh, American entrepeneurialism. Is there any Woo money won't buy? This will make a nice addition to the Annals of Wacky Woo.

Each Ghost is captured from a reported haunted establishment, (house, hotel, ship, cemetery, etc), by our Ghost Hunters.

We seal the ghost in it's own bottle. The bottle is sealed for your protection.

No maintenance required; except occasional dusting.

You may release the Ghost at your own discretion and at your own risk.

The Ghost in the Bottle is contained mysteriously and is therefore sealed with wax shortly after the Ghost is caught. The bottle is sealed for your protection.

In keeping with the highest standards of Woo, this little business comes complete with Testimonials:

A few weeks ago me and my friends went to St. Augustine with our school and went into a shop and purchased one of these bottles. That night all the girls sat in a circle and we opened the bottles up and right when we did the phone rang and no one was there. We had a scratch on the wall, hand prints on the window and weird noises in our bathroom. Later on, one of our suitcases moved and we all felt like we were being watched. Two of my friends were so scared that they had to sleep in another room. We could not fall asleep until around 4:00 am.

This was probably the scariest thing I have ever experienced.

But, given the list of possible activities that might happen to you, selling bottled ghosts is an industry practically moaning for regulation:

If you open or break your bottle you may experience any or all of the following:

--A voice out of nowhere.
--Muffled Moans and Groans for long periods of time during the day or night.
--Doors opening or closing slowly.
--A feeling someone is following you around your home.
--The T.V. volume Increases or Decreases by itself.
--Water left running at the sink.
--The feeling someone is watching you.
--Noises leading into or out of rooms that no one is present in.
--A unfamiliar smell of perfume or cologne.
--Small items moved (favorite items to move are shoes, car keys, T.V. remote and jewelry).
--Lights coming on or going off by themselves.
--Electrical appliances coming on by themselves (sometimes they are not even plugged in).
--Phone calls (yes, sometimes they call).
--Your night light may be turned off during the night.
--Bed covers pulled off you, or you pillow may be tossed on the floor during the night.
--Touches (light pat on the back, the touch can be warm or cold).

Activity will usally peak around 3:00 am in the morning or on rainy days.